https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30230620 I always imagine my live as a pizza with three slices: personal (some sport, watching movies with friends, reading books, etc.), family and work. Ideally, each one should be about a third of the pizza, ie. have a third of your attention and time. There are times when this is not possible but it should be the state you are striving towards.
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30230620 I’m in my late 40s. Just gone through 15 years of absolute shit with an ex partner and financial chaos. Decided I’d fix it in 2019. Three important things to concentrate on:
- Health. If that’s off, fix it first. Everything depends on health. Sort out your diet, physical fitness and health and mental health follows. I’m fitter than all my peers and both fitter and healthier than I was in my 20s. Can run a half marathon now.
- Social contacts. Get out there and make friends. In my case i signed up to Meetup and just attended random stuff until people stuck. This usually involves hiking, pubs and bars, restaurant nights out.
- Invest in experiences. Go travelling, do new things and learn new stuff completely away from your usual area of expertise and comfort. So I’m usually desk bound in the middle of the city but a few weeks back I’m standing on a mountain in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night in the middle of winter doing celestial navigation course. It was amazing.
All positive, fulfilling experiences in life I have found require putting yourself in unusual and uncomfortable positions. Life where there is no normal but it’s not bad abnormal is where the fun is. Doing those things together with other people is where you make meaningful lasting friends and relationships too.
Agreed on the spirituality. I have felt similarly unhappy as the original poster & some others on the thread. Stuck in corporate unfulfilling tech job. 2 years ago, I was able to break free (happy to share if folks are curious to hear). This advice has worked for me, it could work for you:
(1) Health: actively prioritize good sleep, learn to cook some mediterranean dishes (easy, tasty, exotic, healthy, good as leftovers). Make lots, and share with people. Cook the same dishes a bunch of times until its muscle memory, then try something new. If you are into weed - smoking a J, putting on fun music, turning the lights down & doing some cooking / meal prep - seriously, one of the most fun activities, and so helpful.
(2) Fitness: yoga (google “sun salutations” - 10 min & you’re good), 1000% embrace #bikeLife (great exercise, dramatically helps unwind the mind, it’s a hobby you can do for most of your life, lots of mechanical fiddling), and wear a helmet 100% of the time. Try a social racquet sport (squash when its cold, pickleball when warm). Squash is my #1 favorite, recommended sport. Easy to learn, low impact, tons of cardio (1000+ kcal burned / hr), tons of fun, great community, internationally played, & you can play it until you’re old. Pay for 5 lessons. It’s worth whatever money it costs.
(3) Spirituality. Check into Buddhism. It’s a highly practical way to think about & live your life & purpose. I strongly suggest this book (its a quick read, uses plain speech / low jargon, highly actionable throughout the day). It does a great job of explaining how happiness works (I want to say “mentally mechanically”), wanting/shoulding, being observant & intentional of emotion-thought-word-action chains. It’s had a huge positive impact on my own sense of worth, relationships with people around me, the feeling of life purpose - good stuff. This is the book:
Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness: Walking the Buddha’s Path (Meditation in Plain English) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0861711769/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_Cah…
(4) Music. Learn to play an instrument. Check out piano. It’s WAY easier than you think it is. You already know computer keyboard shortcuts & combos. Same thing works in piano. Youtube Search for “4 chord song axis of awesome”. You can learn that exact song in an afternoon, and you have that skill - and ability to express- all those songs for life. When there is any decision in your life that involves a music option, lean into it.
Hang out with healthy & interesting old people - do what they do, ask their advice.
I asked my grandmother of 95 years - still healthy of mind - “What get’s you up in the morning each day?”. Without missing a beat, she said “Music.” She plays piano, sings, dances (wiggles these days). It makes her soul alive, and brings joy to the people around her.
- Biggs: Discrete Maths
- Stroud: Engineering Mathematics
- Solkolnikoff: Mathematics of Physics and Modern Engineering
- Sommerville: Software Engineering
- Aho: Compilers
- Kernighan and Ritchie: The C Programming Language
- Kernighan and Pike: The UNIX Programming Environment
- Ben Ari: Principles of Concurrent Programming
- Clements: Microprocessor Systems Design
- Tannenbaum: Distributed Operating Systems
- Dean, Allen, Aloimonos: Articficial Intelligence
- Knuth: The Art of Computer Programming
- Yourdon: Object Oriented Systems Design
- Abelson and Sussman: Structure and Interpretation
Maybe the one that ones that changed me most:
- Polya: How to Solve it